GLBZ: How did you first find out about GLB?

Max Zorin: Well, I’ve known Bort for a long time, and during that whole time I’ve known he’s always been into making games; both tabletop and computer based. So when I heard he was working on a new game with DD, I was pretty curious to see what the skinny was. Then I found out it was a quasi fantasy football MMORPG, and I will admit my first reaction was somewhat along the lines of ”wtf?’. But as I learned more about it, I began to see just how great of an idea it really was, and that there were already a number of people chomping at the bit to play it.

While I wasn’t employed with GLB when the site went live, I was around to see it happen. It was pretty exciting, and still is, to see so many people playing and enjoying the game. I am very much looking forward to seeing the game develop and grow further. And getting to be a part of all of that is very, very cool.

GLBZ: Max Zorin was a character in the James Bond film “A View To A Kill.” Are you a big Bond fan, or do you just have a thing for airships?

Max Zorin: Yes, I am a big Bond fan, as well as a Walken fan. Although I do think “A View To A Kill” is probably one of the weaker Bond films (Walken aside of course), it still has a certain 80′s charm that I have a hard time resisting. Generally though I prefer the classic Connery films, a la “Goldfinger” and “Thunderball”; although Daniel Craig is moving up on my list fairly quickly.

However, I do also dig airships, as long as they are full of easily combustible gases.

GLBZ: What sports teams are you a fan of?

Max Zorin: This may get me roasted, but I’m not that big of a team sports fan nowadays. However, when I was younger I was way into sports; particularly football and the 49ers. Of course this was the 80′s, during the great 49er reign, and I am from the Bay Area. So there was a lot of local pride that played into it. I have many, many fond memories of watching those Super Bowls, and still have my framed autographed Joe Montana card on my wall.

When I was a bit older it was all about the Trail Blazers. But just about every kid living in Portland during that time was. Rip City baby!

These days I generally prefer watching individual sports, boxing and MMA; probably something about the whole “legalized violence” of it all. I still enjoy watching football, (and some baseball and basketball) casually, although I don’t really follow any particular team anymore.

GLBZ: Of the players that you currently have, which one is your favorite?

Max Zorin: I’d have to go with my ‘Repo Man’ CB there. Not because he has a super great build or anything, but simply because he was “my first”, and you never forget your first.

GLBZ: How do you feel about cowbells?

Max Zorin: Well obviously, I love them, and clearly we need more of them. But I would really like to see them applied to some other stuff, now that “Don’t Fear The Reaper” has been revived from the vaults. Maybe some Dragonforce tunes, or an updated version of “My Shirona”?

GLBZ: How has the customer support experience been so far?

Max Zorin: Overall, it has been a very positive experience. I have had the opportunity to interact with an amazingly wide variety of people, and have learned some pretty cool and interesting stuff about them in the process. I genuinely enjoy helping people out, and I really try to do my best to treat everyone as I would want to be treated. That may sound a bit cliché and overplayed, but I think it still holds true; no matter if you are dealing with people face to face, or over the internet.

While I have worked in customer service for a number of years, I will say that GLB is a very different experience from anything I have had before. I have had to learn and adapt in ways that I never thought I would, because many of times the issues on GLB are not so black and white. There are a lot of judgment calls to be made on a daily basis. It’s not just a matter of changing names or transferring teams over, but also of talking to people, communicating with them.

Yes, it is not all pleasant all the time; I won’t lie. But in general people are friendly, constructive and appreciative. For me, there is never a boring day at the office, and I can in all honesty say that I look forward to logging in and doing my job when the day begins. I can also say in all honesty that I have never felt that way about any job I’ve ever had, until now.

GLBZ: The community does a lot of talking about what they would like to see changed about the game, but let’s flip that. What is something you would like to see changed about the community?

How frank can I be here? Haha, no, no, I really wouldn’t ask to change all that much. But I think the biggest thing I would want to change, in the super idealized utopia of the internet that will never ever exist, is that people would try to be a bit more understanding in general. GLB is a work in progress, that in game terms, is still in its infancy. I have heard a lot of things said about Bort and DD not caring about the game anymore, about them just sitting back and counting their money. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. All of us, particularly Bort and DD, work our butts off every day. There are few, if any, days off. The hours are crazy. The unexpected has and will happen at any time of day (usually in the middle of the night). The criticism is constant, and sometimes not so kindly administered. This is not something you do unless you love it and truly believe in its vision.

I’m not saying the game is perfect of course, or that the community as a whole is like this, just that I would hope that people could sometimes take a step back and look at the full picture. Just because you are not visually seeing things change every day, doesn’t mean that the game has been left to the dogs. Things are constantly being worked on and discussed between everyone involved with it. It is truly a labor of love, and I do think that a good deal of people’s frustrations with the game are because they want it to succeed so badly as well. I do completely understand that.

GLBZ: Ok now, srsly, was that “Srs Stuff” post planned? That was too damn funny.

Max Zorin: It was a totally spontaneous thing. A lot of the Mods were currently sporting ‘srs eyes’ avs at the time, and some of them had just made srs avs for the Admins. On sheer lack of sleep I believe, I laughed at mine for nearly five minutes straight. Then Bort, shiny new srs av in place, randomly decided he was going to go post in FFA about “Srs Stuff”. Myself, Pallow, and some of the Mods followed suit and got in on it. The rest, as they say, is FFA history!

After an often 8+ hour day of working on GLB, sometimes we just like to let our hair down and have some fun. All of us work very hard, and I definitely enjoy kicking back and being a bit ridiculous when there is some free time to do so. That said, it is my job, and there are certainly times when all I want to do at the end of the workday is log off and go watch a movie and drink, a lot.

GLBZ: Favorite non-Walken SNL character?

Max Zorin: Ok, now that is a seriously tough question! It’s pretty much impossible for me to pair it down to one, so a few of mine are: Nick in “The Deer Hunter”, Frank in “King Of New York”, Gabriel in “The Prophecy” series, Johnny in “The Dead Zone”, and well, of course Max Zorin from “A View To A Kill.”

For the record, favorite Walken SNL character: The Continental, hands down.

GLBZ: What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve come across in Support?

Max Zorin: Unfortunately I cannot answer that in any kind of detail. But I will say that yes, there have been some very bizarre and rather astounding messages sent into Support. And at least one or two that I can safely bet were sent in by intoxicated individuals.

GLBZ: If you could rename FFA to something else for a day, what would it be?

Max Zorin: One word: “Shenanigans”

GLBZ: Favorite Music? Food? Beer? Animal? Clothes? Flower? Dinosaur? Meme? YouTube Video?

Max Zorin: Music. I’m a huge music nerd. I listen to just about everything and anything, from Bob Dylan to Ween. Tom Waits to Iced Earth. Aesop Rock to The Who. Opera, rock in all forms, blues, jazz, classical, symphonic metal, underground hip hop, classic country, indie; I really try to not limit myself. There is so much great music to be heard out there, and I love discovering new bands and artists. Music is definitely one of my biggest passions, and maybe in another life I could have been a mediocre rock star.

Food. Sushi and mashed potatoes; not together of course.

Animal. Bearded dragons (Australian lizard). I have two of them as pets, and spoil them rotten. They have great personalities, and are about as close to owning a mini dinosaur as you can get these days. I’ve always liked reptiles, lizards in particular. They are pretty fascinating creatures, so ancient and misunderstood.

Clothes. Whatever is comfortable, and a bit weird. I own lots of really geeky t-shirts that would have probably gotten me beat up in high school, but strangely are now “cool”.

Flower. Erm, is this a trick question?

Dinosaur. The Velocoraptors from Jurassic Park. Man, they scared the crap out of me, no really, they did.

Meme. Probably would have to go with “wat” there, because it says oh so much in just three little letters.

YouTube Video. So many to choose from, but I still love the Nintendo Kid. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFlcqWQVVuU) Never gets old.

GLBZ: What do you enjoy most about GLB?

Max Zorin: My two favorite aspects of GLB are definitely the character creation and the community interaction. The character creation appeals to the long standing RPG nerd side of me. I like the idea of themed teams, and that people get really into making avatars and coming up with ‘characters’, both actual and imaginary. So I guess in the ‘gamers vs. football types’ battle, I definitely fall into the gamer camp.

I also really enjoy the community aspect, even though from a support standpoint it can sometimes be the most frustrating. The way people group together and interact is pretty fascinating. I do not know if Bort and DD entirely envisioned GLB becoming such a full on community when they started it, but it most definitely has become one (no going back now!). And like all communities, it has its own quirks and paths to navigate. I like that, it makes life much more interesting.

Thank you for the interview r8!

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Big Thanks goes out to Max Zorin for taking the time to answer our questions. I hope you all enjoy reading them as much as I did!

Good Luck to everyone in their recruiting and preparation for Season 9.

Generally speaking, my modus operandi is to laugh hysterically and poke fun at other people’s misfortunes. That, and physical violence is always hilarious. I mean, who doesn’t consider this video to be an all time classic?

That is comedy gold right there. The other type of misfortune that usually tickles my goat is ironic happenstance or the surprising unexpected. Recently, and I’m probably well behind the curve here like I was when people were first receiving handskies, I’ve come across the community blog called F my Life. If you’ve never been, it’s a blog where people write in anonymously to share terrible misfortunes that have occurred in their life. It covers the entire gambit of laughing at people, from people failing at love and sex to others being knocked down a couple of pegs through family or work. Really, it’s a Pandora’s Box of epic fails, and my god, I love laughing at every single person.

Here are a couple of my favorites to get you started:

- Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn’t hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can’t drive, our mom drove her there.

- Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room… my electric toothbrush in her hand.

My god, it doesn’t get much better. These poor assholes. Seriously, F My Life needs to change it’s name to “Just Kill Me Now” because that’s all I can think about after reading these. I mean, sure, a lot of these have to be fabricated, but the beauty of it is that even if any of them are fake, they’re also so close to being real that I can easily imagine some poor idiot having to go threw this in their life. I mean, the best story I could personally think of would be one where I could have sworn that I had more condoms laying around before I laid my three inches of pain but found out I was wrong. That’s not really a F My Life moment, rather a minor inconvenience and a potentially baby making moment, and really it hardly compares to this.

So does anyone have their own? We could even try to make it relate to GLB, like “Today my lvl 48 monster strong DT got his first interception and was running towards the endzone when some scat back caught up to me and tackled me at the one yard line only to have the power back fumble the ball on the next play. FML” or something. Run with it!

Continue reading for a game breakdown and interviews with the owners!

The Wolfpack put on an offensive showing putting up 262 yards rushing and 556 yards passing, on 48 rushes and 35 for 44 passing. Washington also won the turnover battle as Ben Randall, Santiago’s QB, threw 4 INTs compared to only 1 INT thrown by Washington’s Wolf Wallace.

After the initial kickoff Washington deflected two passes to send Santiago 3 and out, then marched down the field on a 7 play 71 yard drive to score their first TD. Santiago then took 9 plays to go 43.5 yards and settled for a FG. Washington followed up with another long clock eating drive, going 80 yards in 12 plays, eating up 6:05 of the playclock.

Santiago then gets the ball back and promptly throws an INT that is returned by Karl Doenitz to the 2 yd line. Washington HB George Street punched it in on the next play for a quick TD.

Santiago goes back for another 3 and out, followed by a 12 play TD scoring drive that took the clock down to the 9:39 mark in the 2nd quarter, jumping out to a 28-3 lead.

After another Santiago FG, Washington responds with a 73yd HB screen pass to George Street making the score 38-6 at halftime.

In the second half Washington receives the ball and drives down for yet another TD, driving the score up to 45-6. Santiago then tries to make a game of this with an 80yd pass from Ben Randall to Norm DeSpain followed by a Wolf Wallace interception returned 63 yards by Karl Agathon for a TD bringing the score to 45-20.

Santiago then sends the Wolfpack 3 and out on their next drive as they continue to try to mount their comeback, until Ben Randall makes a crucial mistake. On the first play of Santiago’s drive he overthrows his WR straight to Dick O’Kane for his second interception. Washington then drives down the field to score yet another TD.

Santiago kept trying to get back in the game, but Ben Randall’s third interception of the game gave the Wolfpack a short field to score on, and his fourth brought an end to a Santiago drive into Washington’s red zone, both of which Washington converted into more touchdowns.

Comments from the Santiago and Washington coaches after the game.

Painmaker – Owner of the Washington Wolfpack

GLBZ:Congratulations on your big win. Coming into this game did you think the score could possibly end up with that big of a spread?
Painmaker: Thanks! This was obviously more important of a game for us than for the Benitos. They get every team’s best shot, which really makes that amazing win streak all the more impressive.

Any time two good teams face one another for the first time, there’s a chance that the score will be lopsided though. I chalk that up to AI limitations — it would take pretty sophisticated (i.e. expensive) adaptive AI to allow teams to respond to unexpected advantages mid-game. I’m sure if we played again that Santiago would have some adjustments in place to make it a much more competitive game, if not a different result outright. Whatever worked in our gameplan may have identified areas for them to improve, making them that much tougher for everyone else in the future! It works the same way for us when we wind up on the wrong side of the scoreboard (as well as when we win, even sometimes when we big).

GLBZ: Tell us a little about how you gameplanned for Santiago.
Painmaker: Well, we run pretty isolated AI — islander1 takes care of the offense and I do the defense. We each manually scout our opponents to try to predict what we think they’ll do, and make slight adjustments to our core AI accordingly. In Santiago’s case, I saw that they use a bit more passing than our USA Pro brethren so I upped output percentages for pass-stopping schemes compared to our standard numbers. The lack of a game-changing power back allowed more flexibility to challenge the pass. I can’t say what islander1 did for the offense other than just to observe another great game from our O.

GLBZ: What does this win mean to your franchise?
We’re past the point where individual non-playoff games make a substantive difference, but I think the complete body of work that we’re putting together this season validates our long-standing confidence that we can compete with anyone in GLB. Thanks to Landry and thehazyone, there are some credible venues where the best from each region can test one another to see where we all stack up. I like the cash tourney concept especially because there’s a reasonable expectation that teams are trying to win. We were fortunate to gain entry into each of those tourneys, because with their open formats they filled up quickly. The deeper we go, the better our season — although obviously the tourney we most want to win is called “USA Pro.”

GLBZ: Your next opponent in Hazy’s tournament is the Cincinnati Shockers, a fellow USAPL team that was seeded higher then you coming into this tournament, what are your thoughts on them?
They crushed us once before in World Pro League (USA AAA#2) competition, so I know just how tough they can be. They recently showed GLB how to stop a power running game in their OT loss to MEM, and they’ve been incredibly tough in USA Pro for yet another season. I’m excited to be facing them in a game that counts (cash tourney game) because they are clearly a top team and there’s no better way to improve than to learn from playing the very best. Plus joemiken, Mofo, and company are a fun group so you know it’ll add to the league forum fun.

Havoc – Owner of the Santiago Benitos

GLBZ: The result of this game is something that is going to surprise nearly everyone around the GLB world. What happened?
Havoc: Washington is a very good team. My best guess to explain the result is that Santiago got into a low morale death spiral from the broken tackles, turnovers and early scores and never recovered. I wish Washington the best of luck in the rest of the tournament.

GLBZ: Santiago doesn’t lose often, and very rarely is it even by double digits. Talk a little about what something like this means.
Havoc: It doesnt mean much. We’ve lost games before and we’ll lose in the future. We’ve also blown out top teams in the past. I think most people know there isnt that much difference between a lot of the better teams in GLB and anytime you play a statistical simulation game, you’ll sometimes get some extreme results. Washington had better tactics on the night and also got the breaks.

GLBZ: A loss like this has to put a little more fire in your heart to finish out the rest of the season. Can we expect an even stronger Santiago to arise from this?
Havoc: Yeah, anytime we lose or anytime we have a close game I pay extra attention to the pbp, take a lot of notes and make adjustments. Between running into new tactics and exploits from game to game, you also need to stay on top of all of Bort’s changes- those in the change log as well as the mystery nerfs. GLB requires a team to stay flexible and be willing to evolve and adapt over time.

GLBZ: With this loss in Hazy’s tournament now your attention must turn to the other USAPL Washington team, the Bullets, in the Tournament of Champions. What are your thoughts on them?
Havoc: I am just starting to scouting the Washington Bullets, but they look like a very solid team. Hopefully we’ll have a good game. One benefit of the Wolfpack loss is I’ll have more time to devote to the other tournament.

I really think the various tournament organizers need to coordinate things better. I cant speak for anyone else, but I know that trying to play so many competitive games this season has been difficult for me. Scouting and game planning can take a lot of time at this level.

————

BIG thanks to Havoc and Painmakers for responding quickly to the interview questions.

I guess it is technically spring break for a large number of school-attending youth in America this week. Spring Break used to once be something awesome; time away from school, warmer weather on the horizon, bikinis, sun, booze, sandy beaches and gratuitous T&A being shown 24/7 on MTV. Now, that was a fap show if I’ve ever seen one! Alas, times change and people grow older. Spring break now is not so much a break, but an arbitrary time frame in which I am mildly aware that others are out and about doing things that I used to do. Don’t get me wrong, this year this spring break time frame fell during Saint Patrick’s Day and the beginning of March Madness, so those events offered an unusual respite from my normal mundane 9-5. But it pales in comparison to what used to be the true goal of Spring Break; seeing strange boobs while being wasted. So, in an effort to achieve that goal this week, I am bringing back a location once espoused upon in these pages; the infamous 22nd Street Station in Minneapolis .

For those unfamiliar or those who may not remember past mentions of this locale, let me give you the back story. I’m sure that most every city, town or village has a similar hole in the wall; a place where the dirtiest of dirty go to see naked people in the dirtiest spot in town. You see, the 22nd Street Station, aka the Double Deuce, aka the Deuce Deuce, aka God’s Bar, is such a place but also so much more. Aside from seeing the dregs of society ogling naked women dancing in the shabbiest of stripper locations, they also have a fantastically stocked bar and a roulette wheel which allows you to gamble while breasts are dancing behind your head.

What makes this place so fantastic though are the stories that emanate from it:

- A couple friends, while sitting at sniffer’s row, had their dollar bills (yes, $1.00) on the table in front of them awaiting the next show stopper. When she came onto the stage, the male friend’s eyes went wide with disgust, pulled down some money and ended up leaving only $2 for the next dancer. The woman friend sitting next to him replied, “What are you doing? You can’t take money down once you put it up there for them!” The male friend nonchalantly replied, “Yes you can. That’s how they learn that they shouldn’t be stripping, because they make less money than the other strippers that are more attractive.” The logic proved solid, and the female friend also pulled money down, leaving the new dancer with a total of $4 for her efforts.

- While there during my birthday/anniversary with my girlfriend (because this is the only strip club that is so bad that it’s acceptable to go their with you girlfriend on important dates), one stripper commented how impressed she was that we had been in a relationship for so long, whereas her and her “baby daddy” had split after a year and a half and he left her with a child. Great to hear. Right after that statement, my girlfriend was also created with what must have been a type of stripper warrior cry when she yelled out “Schweaty Boobs!” and motorboated my GF. Good night.

- One night while there with a group of friends and female companions, we were unceremoniously asked to leave. What happened? Did someone touch a stripper (you cannot, unfortunately, do that in this fair state)? Did someone make a rude comment? Not quite. Instead, while a rather docile, sanguine lady danced on stage, a female friend and a male friend were providing a much better show, albeit fully clothed, a mere two feet away from sniffer’s row. Well, we can’t have better options to watch when such craptitude is occurring on the stage, so we were brusqly moved towards the door, full drinks left on the table. I silently helped to clean up after the bouncer though, rearranging a variety of cups and glasses in perfectly formed geometric shapes in the most unified order possible. I think he really appreciated it.

- There was also a time when a bachelor group of us arrived near the end of the night in time to see the last ladies show. It was a motley group of individuals; the man getting married was uncomfortable and unsure if he should be there, yet put on a good face, the heaviest drinker of the group had approximately 10 minutes to enjoy his 2 beers, 3 shots, and a mixed drink that he had while keeping his eyes glued on the dancer the entire time, while the random 40-year old virgin type sat with tight pants in the corner trying to avoid eye contact with the stripper. That is a Nay-No, ma brotha. It’s these types of people, plus anyone anywhere in between that makes up the fabric of this cherished location.

So hopefully tonight I will be able to fulfill my destiny of nakedness, especially on a Sexy Friday, and add another odd ball reference to my Deuce Deuce repertoire. If you do ever find yourself in the Twin Cities area, try to make a trip of it. It will be well worth your time, fears, and dollar bills. But hopefully, it won’t be during a spring break week, otherwise those are some pretty messed up priorities. Enjoy the warm weather and the warm bodies!

Hey, guess what? I hate your team. I think your team absolutely sucks. I think your silly little helmet logo looks like a retarded fourth graders refrigerator prize and that it should be pissed on and spat upon for no other reason than that it’s yours. I hate your gloating and the peacock-ing that you do in the league forums. I think your agent avatar is dumber than the dreams you’re holding onto from your 15 minutes of fame in high school. Your team name does absolutely nothing for me, and it sounds like you flipped through a Star Trek comic book that you found in a hobo’s belongings and randomly picked out some words to create it. Everything about you and your team is worse than a plush kitten abortion. But you know what? I still know absolutely nothing about the real you, or any real things that go on with your team. And despite all this, our mutual hate for each other is still ok.

Rivalries are a funny thing. They fuel intense passion within individuals and groups of people at almost the drop of a hat. Really, think about it. Have a Boston fan walk into a sports bar near the Bronx and in an instant the dynamic in the room changes. All of a sudden it has become “us” versus “them”. People use all sorts of qualifiers to identify with the teams that they follow, whether it is a hat they wear, the colors that they gravitate to, or that stupid way that Boston fans always talk. But we try to make it very obvious on the surface where our personal interests lie.

Fans aren’t the only people that do this. Sometimes it’s individuals within an organization that plant the seeds of douche-baggery and discontent. The players disrespect another teams players or tactics for acquiring new players, coaches act nonchalant like the opposing rival isn’t a big deal, which effectively irritates the other team like a paper cut underneath the finger nail, and sometimes even the owners and marketing team come up with snappy slogans to try and belittle the rival giant.

Sometimes this is in good fun and sometimes it becomes very malicious. Many think that rivalries should be simply about respect for the other opponent and the egging-on should be done in a tasteful manner. Well, I would like to tell you to get the sand out from your Hoo Ha and start dropping some profanity laced tirades, total politically incorrect statements, and make broad sweeping generalizations about everyone in connection with your rival team if for no other reason than to truly identify who you are.

Rivals are important, and intensity between rivals is even better. No one likes to watch Shaq and Kobe play basketball against each other any more now that they’re “friends”. Where’s the story in that? All of a sudden it’s just a friendly scrimmage; if the score didn’t count it would have the intensity of preseason basketball, or be about as exciting as a fat chick laying in wait for you under the sheets. Big deal. It’s boring, and uninteresting (although the fat chick would be scary, which, I suppose, is not a boring emotion). You need some venom between you and your opponent, or else the match up simply doesn’t grab your attention.

In GLB, my teams have come across many others that we have all equally shared disdain for. Looking back now, despite their long running repertoire of reasons why they should be cunt punched, I have to acknowledge that all they were trying to do was to create an open disdain and hatred for them so that when they played other teams, it would mean something. Many of you are familiar with the Washington Capitals, some are not. If you are not familiar specifically with them, than you probably had a team that was very similar, in that they would flame the message board in a harassing, sometimes unacceptable fashion. Did they cross the lines of good taste occasionally? Oh yeah. Did every single one of their members deserve to a good ol’ fashioned skull fucking? You bet your ass. But did they make the games that they played against other people more important? Yes. And you better believe that I knew who I was as a GLB player in relation to them, namely, I was the model citizen while they were the pinnacle of asshattery.

And because of teams like this, rivals that you learn to hate and players that you loathe going up against, it is what makes competition great. When you win, it makes it that much sweeter (Like we did, the time the Caps finally faced us!). In the land of simulated football like GLB, it takes special assholes and extreme dedication to really create a rivalry between two imaginary teams. Essentially, there is a place for these jerkoffs, even though you may not like them. But without them, we’d all just be watching women’s basketball, and I’m quite sure none of us are interested in that.

So yes, I hate your team and everything about your team. Not for any particular reason, but simply because it’s more fun that way.

For starters I want to welcome a new writer on board, blankspace has joined the blog. Blankspace is well known especially among defensive coordinators for his defensive guides (now in the links section on the right). We’re looking forward to his input and topics.

Especially now with another writer on board we’re really going to try to have something new for you every day, so check back often for new updates, and don’t forget to comment! I edited our comments settings where you don’t have to have a WordPress account to comment, all you have to do is fill in a name and an e-mail and you can comment to your hearts content. Besides, we love feedback.

Continue on for more information about some upcoming interviews.

Plus, I’ve found a neat little application for blogs that i’m going to be testing out soon. It’s a live interview plugin that allows readers to submit questions, then the interviewer selects questions to present to the person being interviewed. It worked out brilliantly for one of the other blogs that I read, and I’d love to use it here as well. We’re going to have our first trial run with it next Thursday, March 26th, at 6:30pm PST (9:30pm EST) with GLB Moderator Norsemanvike. So get your questions ready and make sure to join us!

Besides the interview with Norse, we have what I think is going to be a pretty exciting interview coming up. I don’t want to ruin the surprise but trust me when I say you’re going to want to check back for this one. It’s not going to be within the application i’ve noted above, it’s more of a simple Q&A session that I’ve been working on, but it’ll be exciting nonetheless.

I’d also love to start getting some interviews and game recaps going with some of the top teams and agents in the game. So if you’re interested in being interviewed or would like your team featured on the blog, shoot me (r8) a PM on GLB and we’ll get something setup.

Finally I want to thank everyone for the support and readership that you’ve given us so far. It’s really put a hop in our step and given us quite a bit of hope looking into the future, and has us even more excited then ever to get our own website online. Our goal is still to have everything up and running by April 1st, so mark the date on your calender.

So again, thanks for reading, and good luck to all of you in your games leading up to the playoffs!

With all that said, onto the rankings.

1.) WSI
2.) Lincoln
3.) MEM
4.) Benitos
5.) Wolfpack
6.) Cincy
7.) Marblehead
8.) Dryden
9.) Drinkin’
10.) DDL
11.) KrAzY
12.) Prague
13.) BAB
14.) ALB
15.) Mean
16.) Minn. Marauders
17.) Cheetahs
18.) Emmaus
19.) Banzai
20.) MUV
21.) GB Maulers
22.) Halifax
23.) SoCal
24.) Bandar
25.) SLS

In past seasons the #1 spot has been a toss up between the Benitos, MEM, and WSI, but I think for once this season it is clearly in WSI’s hands. They are absolutely blowing people away in their league schedule, and have beat some tough teams in their scrimmages as well. I gotta say though, I think the entire world of GLB is looking forward to the possibility of a WSI vs Benitos matchup in the ToC (WSI has to beat Halifax to get there, Benitos have to beat LGFoT and either the Bullets or Meatballs to get there).

The Benitos loss to Halifax really surprised me, especially when Halifax turned around and got beat by the team formerly known as Adriana Lima Beans. Hey, nobody ever said ranking these guys was easy.

But what really gets me about these rankings is how drastically the teams outside of the top 5 have changed since last season. Teams like East St. Louis Tire Fires, Louisiana Screaming Pelicans, San Fransisco Sucka Frees, World Slayers, or Mean Machine (a former #1 team) are all sitting outside of the top 25 right now looking in. Not to mention teams like Ho Chi Minh Hot Mamas or Tonga Ikale Tahi (hope I spelled that right…) that folded.

One thing that bothers me, though. Here’s the league breakdown for the latest rankings:

USAPL 7
CPL 6
OPL 5
SAPL  3
EEPL 2
APL 1
SEAPL 1
WEPL 0

I don’t know, it just seems to me that some teams, especially in lower leagues, are punished more for losing to good teams then teams in the higher leagues are. For instance, the Emmaus Fighting Green Hornets have only two losses, and they are to the #2 and #6 teams on the list and are ranked at #18, whereas the team formerly known as Adriana Lima Beans has losses to 4 teams that didn’t even recieve a single vote, yet are still ranked at #14? Or what about the Banzai Pipeline Nites sitting at #19 with losses to 3 teams recieving no votes?

Look, I know that some leagues are better then others, and that ranking these teams is a lot harder then people think it is. But, I think we need to start looking a little more objectively at some of these other leagues, and stop giving some of the “higher” leagues passes on scrimmages because of “loldots” or “testing” or whatever. If a team wants to stay in the top 25, they need to win those games, period.

If anything, I think the trend in the game is that the percieved “weaker” leagues are getting much stronger, and some of the other “stronger” leagues are getting weaker. I personally feel like SAPL and OPL are both very top-heavy, while the CPL, while still strong, isn’t as strong as they used to be. As the game progresses farther and updates to veteran points and fame push more and more players into the Pro Leagues, we have to be careful that these percieved biases don’t skew or warp our perspectives on who the best teams in the game are.

Before I get too in depth with my build descriptions, I’d like to take a moment and touch on a couple of critical mistakes that are made by some newer players. First and foremost, there isn’t anything too difficult about making a successful player, i.e., don’t out-think yourself. You’re playing this game because you probably enjoy football, at least as a method of escape from your dreaded real world life, so use that knowledge and apply it to the game. You know what makes a QB good, you see it every Sunday. Mimic that knowledge in your player build.

Secondly, as you can tell from the image attached with this post, the most common practice is for agents to build their QB towards three standard builds; the elite pocket passer, the middle of the road QB, and the scrambling QB. When creating a new QB, an agent’s best move to make, even before you begin your skill roll, is to decide on which kind of QB you would like to mold. Have that ideal in mind and continue to assign skill points that best suit that ideal as you continue on your career path. Attempt not to waver or use skill points frivolously, as they become hard to come by, and always remember what your builds key attributes are.

Now, finding great player builds can be fairly easy to do, so I won’t rehash the obvious points here. In fact, Moderator tpaterniti has an entire FAQ on specific QB builds. Follow the link for more in depth info, but for convenience sake, I’ll rehash some of the pertinent info below, based off of his suggestions and observations. What this guide doesn’t take into account though is the middle of the road type QB that can be most effective in the current seasons of GLB. With the significance of the defensive ends being dialed down and new offensive possibilities like the Wildcat formation creeping their way into the game, teams may benefit from have a QB that sits between the two traditional types. Let’s examine these in more detail:

Pocket QB: This QB is going to have high throwing, vision, strength, and confidence. He may be rather slow and less agile when pressured by the pass rush, but he should be able to see the field better than any other build and be able to more effectively throw his passes into tighter spaces. In addition, his high strength makes him tougher to bring down in the pocket and give him extra zip on the ball. Also, this QBs build benefits from the Pocket Passer Special Abilities, with many users believing that Tight Spiral and Pump Fake are the most effective skills.

Versatile QB: This middle-of-the-road QB can be most effective for teams that aren’t as strong along the offensive line, and who need a QB that can dissect a defense but still be effective when pressure outside the pocket as well. Most important here are still throwing, vision and confidence but agents will want to spread more skill points out evenly between strength, agility and speed. This will allow the QB to effective find open targets up to 15 yards, but he may not have the canon type arm to stretch things down the field as often against tougher opponents compared to the Pocket QB. Ideally, this build will work its SAs up to the Pump Fake ability, but also add points into On the Run and Dump Pass for when they are pressured.

Scrambling QB: In essence, this QB plays like another running back that ends up being a slightly better passer. Currently, this QB build doesn’t seem to have much place in GLB, as the offensive playbook limits the scramblers effectiveness. Potentially though, they can dominate slower defensives with their high speed, agility, vision and throwing. Secondary skills should focus on strength to power through tackles and put extra zip on the ball and the confidence that all QBs need. Their SAs would focus almost entirely on the scrambling tree, although this branches effectiveness is not entirely known yet.

“Ideal” Builds – So how about some examples?

Pocket QB: In real life, we’re looking at Peyton Manning, who dissects the field and has a strong arm, but can be sacked easily with a bad offensive line. In GLB, agents should look at 90+ throwing, 80+ vision, 60+ confidence, 60+ strength, with SAs in Pocket: 8-8-8-4-4 (With CEQ), Scrambler: 0-0-0-0-0.

Versatile QB: Think Ben Roethlisberger, who can scramble when needed and is tough to get a hand on and bring down in the pocket, but can still make all the throws when given time. In GLB, agents should look at 75+ throwing, 70+ vision, 50+ confidence, with soft caps on agility, speed, and strength. SAs in Pocket: 8-7-7-2-2 (With CEQ), Scrambler: 3-3-0-0-0.

Scrambling QB: Ideally, this is going to be Michael Vick, a QB that can kill defenses with his feet but will never be known as an elite passer. In GLB, agents should look at 75+ speed, 60+ agility, 60+ vision, 60+ throwing, with soft caps of strength and confidence. SAs in Pocket: 2-3-0-0-0, Scrambler: 8-8-8-4-4 (With CEQ).

As always, make sure you know which QB you plan to build and find that right team to utilize your skill sets. And no one mention Brett Farve, for the love of God.

Now, I don’t actually know anything about college basketball. I couldn’t tell you about match ups between out of conference schools, or the new freshman phenom that is going to take the tournament by storm. I have no idea who the favorite are, where anyone is ranked, or who the underdog, Cinderella, bracket-busting, one shot wonders are going to be. And I don’t really care, because who pays that much attention to college basketball until tournament time anyways? I mean, if you’ve been watching that much college ball, than it means it was taking away from time you could have spent focusing on anything to do with football … and that is just disgusting. Disgraceful. Get your shit together. But now, we are deep in the throes of March with only a glimmer of NFL hope shining in the distant NFL Draft, so March Madness serves as a perfect interlude to the long dismal football off-season. And of course, March Madness and the NCAA Tournament is only truly enjoyable if you’re getting donkey punched because of your defective office pool bracket.

Ah yes, the brackets, both a gift and a curse. Fairer scribes than I have writ heart rending tales of failed bracket attempts by the most hard core of college followers. Perhaps even you or someone you know has succumbed to the irresponsible virgin that picked her teams based on name or jersey color, only to win the entire $500 pot and play innocent and dumb about the results. Damn you! That should have been mine! Which is also why it makes absolutely no sense to do extended research to fill the damn thing out anyway, and why it also makes sense to fill out multiple brackets. Otherwise, you’ll have no fun when you pick the Goofers to get past the first round, idiot, and who can predict the awesome unforeseen incidents that occur every hour during March Madness? Maybe Purple Jesus, but he’s not telling you.

And so, again, with no research done at all and with a disclaimer saying that you should follow none of my advice, I have decided to share with you my keys to a successful bracket. In this instance, your success being that your involvement in the games will be kept long enough for them to actually start meaning something, like during the Final Four. So without further adieu:

1. Never trust Pitt. Never. They will find a way to piss their opportunity away against a lesser deserving team full of white kids, probably from a Mormon area or secluded mountain school. It happens every year. But what the hell, why not write them into the Final Four on one of your brackets, just because they’re going to do it this year!

2. Don’t put too much faith in Duke. They made an entire movie called White Men Can’t Jump and it has stood the test of time, so I’m not quite sure why people think that anything has changed. They continue to disappoint recently, and their team is also full of a bunch of Jew haters. So, if you pick them, that’s what I’ll have to start calling you, ya Nazi.

3. North Carolina is always a good bet. I will promise my left testicle to a flesh eating flower if they do not make it to the Elite Eight this year. It’s the most guaranteed thing to happen since knowing that Whitney Houston was going to get the charm slapped out of her by Bobbie Brown. Don’t bet against those type of odds!

4. Don’t underestimate a big man, but don’t assume that they’ll win on their own. So for this year, realize that some freak of nature like Hasheem Thabeet from UConn is going to play Godzilla on the court through the first couple of rounds until he runs into some team filled with small swift guards that play with great chemistry. Then it’s NBA Draft time for him. Same goes for Blake Griffin and Oklahoma, although maybe take them a round further, because ESPN showed a highlight of him jumping into a scorers table about, oh, 26 times in a row and said that it was amazing, so they much be right. Fucktards.

5. The 12 seed over a 5 seed is a pretty good rule to live by, but those damn 8 and 9 seeds are hard as hell to pick. I don’t know how to pick the winner out of either of those scenarios, but that’s why you play the vagina role and fill out multiple brackets. Someone has to win!

6. Rely on the super stars! Stephen Curry showed last year that when the big dance is on, he’s going to be the dude finger banging the chaperon in the supply room. Ride his coattails for a couple of rounds, but not too far, because even though there is a ME in team, there is no Stephen Curry.

7. Which team is ranked number 1? They seem like a good bet. Go with them.

And that’s about all I know. I hope you don’t stress over filling out your bracket too much this weekend, or next Monday once selection Sunday is over, because you could be doing much better things like forming a pen pal relationship with an inmate, or maybe masturbating to pictures of Miley Cyrus. Or whatever, I don’t care. But make sure the brackets are fun, and best of luck!

That highly controversial topic? Malachorn. First, let me frame the subject a bit.

For anyone who’s been around GLB since season 1 or 2, we’ve all seen this story played out time and time again. Malachorn is a rebel and a malcontent. In earlier seasons he would push the envelope far beyond the breaking point, and constantly dared to question the system. He was the first to invite tons of GMs to his team just to give them the trophy, for instance, something that irked a lot of people. In fact, having the “League Champion – Season 3, Eastern Europe AAA #1, GM of Scotch Cocks” trophy has come to be known as the “badge of shame.” What finally led to his lengthy ban has never really been discussed, but as far as I know it boiled down to an “unhealthy exchange” of PMs between him and an Admin. Mal was banned for quite awhile, I’m not sure exactly when the ban started, but I think it lasted close to 6 full seasons. Over these seasons Mal’s legend grew as a kind of martyr, the hero for the cause. Eventually the “Free Mal IMO” craze began, and everywhere you turned you were seeing avatars and posts of users begging the administration to unban him.

They claimed that he had changed. They claimed that he was ready to be a responsible contributing member to the community. They claimed that he was ready to apologize, make amends, and move on.

I was skeptical. I’ve dealt with his type before in other games, and the fact is usually that people never change, they just get better at hiding it.

I’ve spent a lot of time since the Tester “scandal” broke trying to answer questions and allay any fears that the community might have about the test server, and things had just started to quiet down when Mal was eventually “Freed.” And he attacked it like a bulldog.

I was immensely annoyed. There were still some malcontents determined to argue the evils of the test server till they were blue in the face, but the majority of the game was ignoring them, so it wasn’t a problem. But this was Malachorn, and that makes it an entirely different story. You can’t ignore the guy, he flat out won’t let you. And to make things worse, people will flock to him.

In an effort to somewhat control the situation, and to keep from saying the same things over again on the forums yet again, I sent a PM to Malachorn. I made it clear to him that although I did not like him, I was willing to answer any questions he or his friends had. Eventually we decided that it was a good idea to invite me into his private forum. To be honest, I was a little worried. I was expecting to encounter flaming, attacks, and endless tearing apart of my posts no matter what I said. I mentally prepared myself, and entered the forum.

Have you ever bent down to pick something up, and braced yourself because you thought it was heavy, then when you pick it up it’s actually light and you nearly fall over because you were expecting it to be heavier? That’s about the reaction I had upon entering the forum. I can tell you as an absolute fact that during my time in his forum I encountered less flaming, less attacks, and better discussion then I had dealt with in any other forum in GLB. If anything, I felt welcomed, and in return I honestly gave them the best answers that I could. It was actually a great experience. I think that both sides went into this with a certain level of skepticism – I know how I felt, and I know that they felt it wouldn’t be productive at all – but I feel like in the end it was worth it, and I hope that they feel the same.

My perception of Malachorn has changed completely. He’s still a rebel and a malcontent, he’s still loud and obnoxious, and he’ll always be a major thorn in the sides of the admins and moderators. But, when it comes down to it, he’s a lot like me, in that if both sides are willing to be grown ups about it, then a satisfactory middle ground can be found. Hell, I almost started to like the guy, and I certainly don’t dislike him now.

Malachorn has gone against my general rule, and he has changed. Not necessarily because of the suspension or anything like that, but rather I think that he has realized how much more he could accomplish by playing within the rules. He still has a brash personality, so his reputation will always follow him, but I feel like his intentions are much better, at the very least.

I don’t have access to the forum anymore, which I understand. I am, after all, the enemy. I’m a tester myself and I have friends who are moderators, which puts me clearly on the wrong side of the Mal vs Mods war in their eyes. But, for the short time I spent “Behind Enemy Lines,” I can honestly say that I’ve at least gained a better perception of that Enemy.

Maybe one day we’ll find a resolution to all of the problems surrounding GLB, or maybe we’ll just be caught in this endless spiral of bad soap operas until Bort & Co. decide to give baseball a shot and the game is left to rot, who knows. What I do know is this: We all care about the game. We have different ways of showing it, but nobody would put forth the effort to work on the game, complain about the game, or debate the problems of the game if they didn’t care.

At least we can agree on that.